Monday, 25 June 2012

The Morning After


"Oh god, what have I done?"
- Me, too many times to count

Lets face it – we’ve all had our regrets. 

You crawl out of bed and think ‘Oh god what have I done?’ You can’t look at yourself in the mirror, and you can’t face the rest of the world because they’ll KNOW.  

Hmm... Been there, eaten that. A few months ago we went on a fast food binge. Went to KFC, ordered chicken popcorn, chicken strips, 2 zinger burgers and fries for 2. Passed McDonalds on the way home, went inside and added 9 nuggets, a McChicken with cheese, a spicy McChicken and more fries. It took us 2 hours to eat through all of it (always remember that greasy fried chicken turns to cardboard the second it starts cooling down) and I COULDN'T MOVE after that. The next day brought about the self-recrimination, the moping and the general feeling of absolute gluttony and self-disgust.

As I sat on my sofa feeling like the worlds biggest garbage disposal system (I even ate the tiny burnt bits of potato that you find at the bottom of the bag of chips) I wondered if anyone had ever felt like this before? Oh wait, that was me last week!

The worst part was, that even though I was feeling absolutely disgusted with myself, I could feel the beginnings of hunger stirring. Oh no! What do you do when you feel like a turkey that's been stuffed and ready for the over? ZIP IT!

Breakfast
Trying to be good - fruit for breakfast
Now, I’m hungriest when I first wake up and then at dinner. The rest of the day makes no difference to me; eat, don't eat – its irrelevant. However the morning after I have binged, I need to make sure I don't eat too much breakfast. In fact if I can get away with it I have a piece of toast and coffee, which takes me an hour to finish because I’m still so full. Optionally you can have tea and toast or just plain fruit. I love eating sliced pineapple that's been chilled in the fridge the day before.
If what you're recovering from is an overdose of patron (yes, that happens to me all the time too) - I would avoid the coffee. It makes you jittery and you dont need that when you're trying to synthesize alcohol. Peach tang and toast. Or juice. Or ice cream. 

Lunch
For lunch I’d advise maybe soup and salad or a teeny tiny amount of bhaji (vegetable) and chapatti, or plain yellow dal and rice (it’s my intensely parsi comfort food). You could do some scrambled eggs with toast too. (Always remember to eat more egg white than yolk - allow yourself one egg yolk to make the eggs hold their shape. I’ve been on diets where I’ve had to eat scrambled egg whites and it feels like you’re eating bad air. Wait, rephrase – bad tasting HAIR.)
If you're having trouble eating anything, go with peach tang. Or maybe some cold coffee with icecream. its cool enough and ice cream-y enough to fill you up and will help you feel better. 

Second Lunch
My very non diet hangover option
If you’re like me, you’re ravenous by 4pm and even the guilt from last nights over indulgence (dare I say food orgy?) isn’t enough to hold you back. I suggest you be prepared. Don't give into the urge to order out (though if you do, I have some pretty useful tips for that too). Have something at home you can munch through – I love microwave popcorn. I also love cream cracker biscuits. The thing I eat when im starving and need energy or just something in my tummy is something not many people agree with or even like. Say hello to: MARMITE. You either love it or hate it. I have never met someone who’s in between. That's my own preference. For you non-lovers, maybe just some more fruit, or cream cracker/ graham cracker biscuits. You could even have a big big mug full of tea, which should fill you up till dinner.

Dinner
It’s been 24 hours since you last gorged yourself (give or take) and you’ve completely forgotten about the amount of food you ate the night before until the moment you actually put that first bite of food into your mouth. It all comes screaming back to you and you start feeling full again. My suggestion: eat half the quantity you normally would at dinner and really truly give your poor stomach a break. If you must, have some yogurt or curd after dinner to fill your stomach up.

Restorative


So there you have it – my morning after plan. I love how I can preach this and then totally disregard my own advice and fill up on peach tang. Oh yum – peach tang. But that's a story for another time.

Stay smart!