Friday, 22 June 2012

Waist vs. Waste

‘Never order food in excess of your body weight.’ - Erma Bombeck

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been on one diet or the other for as long as you can remember. Your friends’ mothers are tired of attempting to feed you when you go over, and going out for dinner is a painful combination of scraping the insides of fried food (the bits the oil didn't touch – ahem) and ordering stuff that's ‘boiled’, ‘chargrilled’ and ‘pan seared’.  “No thanks aunty, I’ve just eaten” “Is this fried?” “I can’t eat anything with oil”- sound familiar? You’ve come to the right place.

I’m a foodie who can’t stop eating. I’m well intentioned and always MEAN to watch what I eat, but then it just doesn't happen. The bread will smell too fantastic, the pizza will look too appealing, the risotto will dance around in its bowl across me, and the next thing I know I’ve reached out and had a bite. And then another and another and everything just spirals from there. While it tastes fantastic, and I have no regrets while I’m eating it, I kick myself the next day. And I complain, bitch and moan about how I’m getting fat and I don't know what to do about it.

As far as diets go, I’ve tried them all. There has been days on General Motors, only tea and toast, only fruit, Atkins, The Montignac Method, Ron Rosedale, low GI. Everything worked for a little while and then came the fainting, collapsing, and shaking… I made it to day 4 on the General Motors and couldn't stomach milk. The tea and toast diet and the only fruit diet didn't make it past day 2. I lasted the longest on Atkins and the Montignac Method but couldn't control the quantities after a while so they became redundant. A lot of the foods these diets tell you are ok for you when you’re on the diet are not so great for you overall. An example of that is the unlimited peanuts you can eat on Montignac. Tres dangerous!

Just a regular dinner at home
My favorite foods, in no order of preference are:
Cheese, chocolate, cheesy pizza, French fries, garlic bread, cheese naan, garlic butter sea food (toss anything from the sea in with garlic and butter and you have me hooked), egg fried rice, pan fried noodles, chocolate milkshakes, waffles with melted butter and honey, any kinds of beef, sausage, lamb.

See anything healthy in there? 

I eat out 3 times a week, and manage to eat within my diet regulations at least twice. Which means that this is somewhere you can go when you’re trying to figure out where to go for dinner and what you can eat. Welcome to the (Almost) Diet Diaries. 

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